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Ask
Maleva
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A Tango Advice Column
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Predatory
Tangueros
in Buenos Aires
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Dear
Maleva,
I am planning a trip to Buenos Aires later this year for the first time. I
have heard from couple of women who have been there to watch out for
smooth talking, smooth dancing, Argentine men at milongas because they are
only after money and sex from unsuspecting American and European women.
Are there really such men lurking in milongas? And if true, how can I
avoid them?
Should I go with a tango group tour which is kind of expensive to avoid
getting into a sorry situation? I don't want to become another Desperate
Tanguera, at the same time, I don't want to lose my money or taken
advantage of. I can follow so-so but nowhere near Argentine tangueras, I'm
sure. Can you help?
Unsuspecting Susie
Dear Unsuspecting Susie,
It's funny but many of the
recent questions people have sent to me concern men, women and tango - it
seems that tango relationships are much more difficult than actually
dancing!
As for your question, would
you sleep with or give money to men you did not know well here in the
US? If not, then don't do it in Argentina either. Don't let
the rules that apply in 'real life' suddenly slip because you are in the
seductive world of the milongas or in a romantic foreign city.
Yes, it is true that there
are smooth talking (Argentine) men in tango who are just out for money and
sex. But my dear, those men are lurking every- where, not just in the
milongas! Go out to a bar in any city, in any country and you will meet
any number of men who will try to sweet-talk you into bed without any
intention of calling you again in the morning. You must deal with the
rogues that you meet in tango the same way you deal with the players in
'real life' . Don't take them seriously unless you are just out for a good
time too. Accept their dances - and their free drinks ;) - and leave it at
that. Argentine men don't have special powers that will make you loose all
rational thought and take off your clothes just because they ask you to.
In the milongas of Buenos
Aires, as well as the milongas in other parts of the world you need to use
your common sense. If you decide to have 'coffee' with someone after just
meeting him, and maybe having a few well-connected tangos, then that is
your choice (there is absolutely nothing wrong with it). But just realize
that it will not turn into something more than what it is - a one night
stand.
Also, you will have the
power to say yes or no to men with or without other members of a group
tour around you. There are many reasons for choosing to go with a group
tour to Buenos Aires, but I don't think that 'protection from the lurking
men' needs to be one of them (although that would be interesting claim for
the brochure!) . If anything, being part of a group tour may just make you
stand out more as a tourist and as someone who might be easily-wooed.
Being with other people is not necessarily going to protect you from the
advances of strangers. I did not go to Buenos Aires with a group, but I
did go with a boyfriend, and I was asked out for coffee none-the-less. But
if a man makes an advance and you decline him politely, he's going to
leave it at that. Heck, Argentine men won't even come over to a lady's
table to ask for a dance for fear of their rejection becoming public! Turn
them down nicely and they are not going to make a big deal of it.
And of course, most of the
men in the milongas in Argentina are not going to make passes at you
anyhow. I think most of them are there simply because they love to dance.
Either way, if you are concerned, why don't you just make a promise to
yourself that - no matter what - you will not to get together with any
strange man beyond the friendly level while you are there? Unless of
course, he's really cute....
Contact Info:
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www.close-embrace.com
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Elena Pankey's
Tango Column
Why is Argentine Tango?
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Tango influences and develops all sides of people’s lives. It is also for your pleasure and joy. Moreover, this special dance improves everybody’s shape, health and posture. It is a very effective way to develop your concentration and persistence. Leaning this challenging dance will give everybody a new perspective and motivation for life.
Tango enhances relationships, marriages and partnerships. This dance expands your communication with other people, so it is a way to escape loneliness. It gives you some awareness, deeper understanding and appreciation for the present. Tango changes all sides of your life and makes you successful in your business.
A conclusion: All those features are very important for everybody. Therefore, we all need to learn this challenging but enjoyable Argentine Tango dance.
Tango (for 2-3 minutes) like real life has everything in it; and it has two parts: a leader and a follower. The main important feature is that tango makes and teaches couple how to listen to each other. Otherwise, it will not be a Tango. Therefore, it will teach women how to listen to a man and be quiet. It teaches men how to be creative and strong leader.
Persistence is a virtue because it leads to success. People who once tried to learn this kind of Tango would never stop, because it hooks them immediately and forever. It is very competitive dance, and to get a good result, everybody needs to develop a very strong persistence.
When a couple learn Tango or dance it, they need to concentrate on the steps, on the special techniques and on many parts of their own body, in order to maintain a good balance. Many intellectuals keep coming to lean tango because of this great concentration and a special work of the brain. Some people told me that their business, relationships and life improved after they began to learn Arg. tango. It happens because tango develops special brain cells that usually people don’t train very much, but such cells are very important for successful business.
Everybody who seriously learns elegant Argentine Tango knows that it has very difficult and strict techniques. Those techniques require a very flexible waistline, perfect balance, stability and many other skills. Argentine tango is only one dance in the world, which requires torque. All these request a lot of exercise, but such exercise has motivation and fun, and people do them with great pleasure. We know many examples, when people improved their health and posture by dancing Arg. Tango.
Tango has so many different elements and so many steps, that it is almost endless process to learn it. For example, sometime ago my Masters created 23 video lessons where they explains and teaches about 1600 elements and steps in tango. It gives some superior perspective and motivation: to achieve so good result that you could dance it like you saw it in some shows or movies. You probably saw the shows “Tango Passion,“ “Forever Tango,” or the movie: “Tango lessons,” “Tango,”” Tango Magic” and other.
While learning and dancing Tango everybody should be aware of the present moment. It teaches to be in this moment, in this place, and think about what do you do at that particular minute! This great awareness develops reality and takes people to deeper appreciation of life. Also, it helps develop their relationship as well.
I attended some classes; dance parties (Milongas), and watched my parents dancing tango. My observation is that Tango energizes any marriage and makes it more exiting. Some men learn tango very slowly, but women fast. So tango adds a lot of challenge to lives and to relationships. Bur people continue to do that, because it makes their relationship more interesting, more exiting. It gives to everybody more stimulation and more fun than anything else. Sexy, intimate, sometimes seductive and always passionate Tango brings people together.
When people dance Tango, they always develop some kind relationship during the dance. While 2-3 minutes of dancing, they have a whole life with all plots in it. Tango does it. Every couple could be harmonic or not, compatible or not. Every couple on the dance floor creates their own Tango, and every time it will be different love story. When people don't understand it, they just exercise some steps without any feelings or passion
Tango gives me a lot of energy, stimulation and joy. Our past is only memory; our future is illusions, plans and dreams. Our life is only now. Tango gives me the awareness of the present moment. Tango teaches how to listen and respect each other, how to be patient, stabile and keep your own balance. Tango teachers a follower how to be quiet, which requests a very deep sensitivity and ability to surrender.
When people are leaning how to lead, they learn how to be active thinker, to be fast, artistic, resourceful creator and initiator. It is the most challenging concentration of the mind.
I think, that some personal achievement in Tango is very advanced and more challenging than in many other dances. Some kind competition on the dance floor is a great stimulant. The creativity of this dance and a wide vocabulary makes the leaning experience almost endless. These and some other reasons explain why many people are spending so much time with tango. It all make people personal lives more spiritual, inspiring and joyful.
Conclusion:
Tango makes all sides of human’s life more interesting, inspiring and meaningful. It fulfills everyday with joy, helps to develop a very deep concentration and improves my physical condition.
On the other hand, Tango gives me more thoughts and strong work for the brain, more excitement, more joy, more challenge, more good relationship, more communications, friends, more puzzles, and more spirit...
Everything is the unique in the culture of Tango. Tango people are interesting. A special, theater like, atmosphere of Milonga is very attractive, too. .
A skilled woman with a high level of understanding does not have deep satisfaction with Tango. So, disappointment goes together with pleasure. The deepest pleasure, which I have in a harmonic, connected, sensitive, and sensual Tango, I cannot compare with any other pleasure. It is the greatest one: Tango with passionate and connected partner. It comes very seldom, and not very many couples experienced it, but we all try to reach this ideal.
Only when both dancers get very skilled and have a deep connection with each other they would have a very special pleasure during Tango. This great 2-3 mints pleasure from the living in the Tango music is what keep people for coming and trying
This incredible Tango living dance is not for everybody!!! Tango chooses people.
Tango is personal interpretation of the passionate music. Tango becomes a beautiful dance when both partners are listening and dancing to the same musical instrument at the same time.
All these feathers attract us to learn this special dance deeper and deeper…
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Enjoy the new video with Elena and Gustavo (Arg) on YOUTUBE in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
View some good "boleos" and some jumps. Please, "Rate"! click 5
1. Elena and Gustavo Fabian Alegre (Argen.). Check:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufKI03nF8xM
2. Elena and Gustavo : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2n898AoYC5w
If you visit Cabo San Lucas, Mexico go to see great Tango Show on Thursdays, 8 pm at Barometro
, downtown on the bay.
visit:
www.TangoCaminito.com
email: TangoCaminitoSchool@Yahoo.com
AllRightsReserved©2006
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THE
MEPHISTOPHELEAN TANGO
by
Robert Osborne
email Robert at roberto@lavidatango.com
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Chez la Countess
Part 5
Comfortably installed in the lap of the Countess, a Pekingese poodle with finely groomed, shiny, red hair, floppy ears and large, brown inquisitive eyes followed the movement of Anne-Marie and the Count as they entered the room. Anne-Marie squinted against the bright sunlight streaming through the tall-latticed windows of the solarium. Framed against the light, she saw the silhouette of the Countess Barka. The Countess, wearing a long black dress, sat erect in a straight back chair by the windows, reading her bible. Only her dark eyes, peering over small round reading glasses, were visible above the bible she held in her hands.
"Good afternoon, mother," the Count said as he guided Anne-Marie to where the Countess sat. The Countess turned her cheek to receive her son's kiss. "Mother, may I present Mademoiselle Anne-Marie Valroff?" The countess looked up from her bible and found Anne-Marie's anxious eyes. Her gaze lowered to Anne-Marie's terribly scarred face. She must think I'm an abomination, thought Anne-Marie. She felt the cold dark eyes move from her face to the white under-slope of her breast, visible through the décolleté of the tea dress Madame Olivier had loaned her. The Countess placed her bible on the table and rose from her chair. The Pekingese poodle leaped from her lap, waddled on short, uncertain legs to where Anne-Marie stood and sniffed at her shoes. The Count captured the dog with a sweep of his hand and held it in his arms while he stroked its, floppy ears and its soft, furry belly.
"Bonjour, Madame la Countess." Anne-Marie offered the Countess her hand and dropped into a tiny courtesy. But the Countess ignored Anne-Marie's hand, and, with arms spread wide, she swept her to her breast and, in a crushing embrace, placed Anne-Marie's cheek hard against her own cheek. Anne-Marie felt the Countess' warm tears run wetly down the space where their cheeks joined. This intimate, personal greeting surprised her. It was as though the Countess were greeting a long lost relative. But were these tears of happiness? Of joy? Of pity? Inexplicably, Anne-Marie too began to cry. Like a dam suddenly relieved of mounting pressure, the uncertainty and the anxiety of her meeting with the Countess sweep from her in a torrent of emotion.
"My dear, I've so much looked forward to our meeting," the Countess Barca said, taking Anne-Marie's arm and leading her to the widowed alcove where stood a small, round table draped in dazzling white linen. A huge bowl of fresh flowers occupied the center of the table. Gold dinnerware, snow-white napkins and delicate teacups marked three places at the table. "Come, sit by me, my child. I have so many questions to ask you. And you will be surprised at what I have to say to you. Here, my sweet Anne-Marie, let me dry your tears," and the Countess withdrew a lace handkerchief from her sleeve and dabbed at Anne-Marie's wet cheek.
The Countess sensed what Anne-Marie was thinking. "No, my dear Anne-Marie," she said. "Do not concern yourself with what I or others may think of the consequences of your tragic accident. You are a truly beautiful girl. Wear your scars proudly. They are a test of courage and character and a gateway through which one must pass to know the beauty and grace that lie beyond. Have you ever seen the feet of a ballet dancer? She stands high on deformed toes….the consequence of endless hours of suffering, gladly consecrated to her art. She suffers to bring beauty and pleasure into the hearts of thousands. Do you see these fingers?" The Countess asked, placing her hands in Anne-Marie's. Anne-Marie looked down at the knurled, arthritic fingers and could not help caressing them. "With these hands, now grotesque and disfigured," the Countess continued, "I have entered the hearts and souls of many. There, in the heart, like a bright yellow bird, my music has built a nest from where it may bring joy to whomever chooses to hear it. For this, I am deeply grateful." Saying this, she placed her hands on Anne-Marie's face and kissed her on the lips.
The butler entered the room. In one hand, he held a large silver tea tray at waist level. The other hand held a small folding table. He opened the table and, without conscious effort or hesitation, slid the silver tray onto the tabletop. In a series of swift, confident movements, he transferred scones and sweet rolls, artfully arranged on delicate glass dishes, onto the white tablecloth. Gleaming silver teapots, with curving graceful spouts, clattered and nodded as steamy vapor rose from them.
"Is there anything further Madame La Countess wishes?" The butler asked. "No, Edwardo. Thank you," the Countess replied. The Butler turned to Count Carlyle. "You wished to be informed, Monsieur le Count, upon the arrival of your solicitors. They are presently gathered in the foyer of The Study, monsieur le Count."
"Ah, yes. Thank you, Edwardo. Please tell them I'll see them shortly."
"Thank you, Monsieur le Compte." The butler placed the silver tray and the folding table under his arm and quietly closed the door as he left the room. The Count took a seat opposite Anne-Marie at the table. "Mother, is she not all that I have said?"
"But Madame la Countess knows nothing of me," Anne-Marie said. "Well, my dear. That isn't exactly the case," the Countess replied. "You see....and I must apologize for this, my dear….when my son told me he loved you, I asked the agents representing our estate to find out about you. I hope you can forgive me for this, but it concerns certain events in your life….events that took place at a distant place, before you were born and about which you could not have known."
"But my family…my mother and I have lived in Paris all our lives. My father was killed in La Résistance. There really is nothing that isn't known. We live very simple lives, and, as you must know, I work in La Place des Vosges as a shop girl."
The Count interrupted…."Mademoiselle Anne-Marie, please forgive me. I must have a talk with my solicitors. I shan't be long." The count rose from his chair and, bending over his mother's shoulder, kissed her cheek. Then, raising Anne-Marie's hand, he brushed her fingertips with his lips, and, Smiling, he turned and walked from the room.
"Lately, my son has been much occupied with his solicitors. He's preparing for a trip...a rather long trip, which, I am certain, my dear Anne-Marie, he will tell you more about when you have time alone. Tell me," the countess asked, "are you croyante, if I may dare ask, my dear?
"Croyante? Well, I don't think so," Anne-Marie said. "I was brought up as a Catholic, and I usually attend mass with my friends on Christmas Eve, but mother never insisted on any sort of religious training when I was a child.
"Do you believe in God? In a life after death?" The Countess asked.
"I think so," Anne-Marie answered, "but I'm not sure. Madame Olivier…my friend and the propriétaire of the boutique where I work… talks to me about God sometimes. She is croyante, but I guess I haven't made up my mind yet about God and heaven and that sort of thing.
"My dear Anne-Marie, let me show you something…something that testifies to the moment when I became a believer." As the Countess said this, she unbuttoned the top of her bodice and uncovered her breast. "Look closely, my dear, and you will see the cross I choose to bear." Anne-Marie leaned towards the Countess and saw, raised on her breast, a bright scarlet A.
"Oh, what an unusual tattoo."
"Not a tattoo, my dear. This scarlet A was branded into my weak flesh as a reminder that I am His servant and must follow the path He has chosen for me. Have you ever wondered what becomes of our human form after we pass to the Beyond, my dear? Look here. See what our earthly form consists of, except for an ephemeral moment in the endless ocean of time." Saying this, the Countess reached for the heart shaped locket hanging from a gold chain around her neck. Her fingers found the release, and the locket opened. "This is what is left of Maxime, my husband. Have you ever seen human ashes? They are quite heavy. They are not entirely gray or white. They are mostly whitish, but there are little bits of tan, brown, gold and even pink and blue. The texture is rather gritty, like fine sand with a few granular chunks."
The Countess closed the locket and arranged it about her neck. "Now we must talk of you, my dear Anne-Marie. Or must I call you by your proper title, Princess? Yes! Princess. You are The Princess Claudia Bogdanich, of Saint Petersburg. Heir to the throne of Nicolas II of Russia. You are, my dear Princess, of royal blood. You are, I am certain, the Princess Bogdanich, and we are distant relatives. Your grandfather, Prince Bogdanich, was not a bad man, although perhaps undisciplined in matters of the heart. Your grandmother was employed in his household, and she fell in love with the Prince.....but more of this later. Now, cousin, let us have some tea."
The Countess reached for the teapot and, with a smile that stretched the tight thin lines around her mouth, she filled the porcelain teacup in front of the startled Anne-Marie.
(to be continued)
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Other installments of The
Mephistophelean Tango can be found in the archives :
The Masked Ball
The Fortune-teller
The Secret Garden
The Duelist
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